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Chapter Two: The Illuminated Texts

In which our heroes run into money troubles, meet a mad woman and a monster, get smacked down by the long arm of the law and learn the mysteries of the written word.

What the bloody hell just happened?![]


The Eccentric Club

Our heroes get messages from the Eccentric Club’s business office needs to see them ASAP. Gram and Percy make the trek to the Club and end up playing a game with its members called “Pictures.” After an incident of stick-figure drawing and interesting picture choices, they are escorted by Irene Travers, Sir Roderick’s secretary, to the office of Mr. Toliver Burberry the mundy business manager for the club.


Our heroes are informed by Mr. Burberry that £1,600 is the first year dues for the Club (£1,100 for the Club, £500 “Seasonal Committee dues”). They must pony up or the Club will not process their membership (which would amount to defacto banishment from the empire).


Our heroes visit Mrs. Folo, a black-and-white 50s housewife and the Spring representative on The Membership Committee. She is going to try and find you some work, as she views all members of the Empire as her children (something she lost after she was taken to Arcadia years ago).


A party at Forget makes a good excuse to for the members of the motley to appeal to the Queen of Spring for leniency. She seems loath to give up the money, recommending they either get a sponsor (or get Warded off to someone) to give them the cash or go to the “Goblin Bank”- Gringotts. Prince John lets them know going to [Knockturn_Alley#Gringotts_Bank|the goblins]] is, of course, illegal, but many of them have done it to pay there “taxes” to the Empire.


Drinking and Revelry ensue. The Trouble Aheaders dance like maniacs, frighten women with innuendo, network for fancy new jobs in the queen’s Court, and get drinks thrown at their faces. Prince Edward of Autumn follows the Princess of Summer and Ben Ashmore vomits his guts out (Second Chapter in a row!). Above it all, Astrid Glass suggests that she could make the motley's problems go away with a trip to the “Temple of the Pound”.


New Scotland Yard

Gram Thew and Percy Harving wake up in the clink for assaulting an MPS (Metropolitan Police Service) officer. He is mildly annoyed by the black eye and the wedgies. After a vigorous attempt to rattle said officer and beat themselves, making it apparent that police brutality occurred, Gram and Percy are commandeered by DCI Gene Hunt of the City of London police who lets them know, in no uncertain terms, that he’s going to beat them to a pulp publicly if they don’t "toe the party line". He knees Gram in the groin to get his point across.


A quick lunch and shower later, and it’s off to the Gerkin, a giant pickle-shaped building in the Finance District where The Temple of the Pound is located in the guise of Prittering, Price, Fisher Finance (P2 F2). Wesley Windham Price has his gaudy, 80s-inspired office there and makes his deal: He’ll front the motley's first year cash if they retrieve for him the Illuminated Text that will be auctioned off at Christie's tonight.


An ill-fated trip to the Goblin Market at Portobello reveals the presence of The Pan to Oliver. Fear abounds.


Our heroes march off to Christies and run into the mysterious white-haired man from Sotheby’s. Suddenly all the clocks stop, revealing that the Pan is hovering about. Percy’s fetch wanders in to try and buy a book, bidding feircely against the white-haired man, Constance George and a number of interested Mundys gunshots ring out, and the scene goes dark. When the lights come back up, it is revealed that someone has run off with the book everyone was bidding on- the very first edition of Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein.


The Very First Edition

Gram and Perth try and go after the Pan to reveal him carrying a dead boy. Tinkerbelle and the Shadow also mingle about somewhere. Oliver attempts to chase down the culprit only to find a hollow filled with bizarre goblins and presided over byLord John Slatterly- the Mad Hatter and March Hare in one. Percy flees from the area, dreading confrontation with his former keeper and in a panicked state, slashes Mr. Black in violent matter. Nellie stops the bleeding but Black still has to be carted away by The Rover. The Summer court is barely restrained from engaging in open warfare by the Prince of Spring.


Following clues found at the scene, our heroes head to the outerfreehold of Blackstreet Manor, headquartered out of an abandoned manor house in the middle of a track of council estates. Inside group of counterculture (seemingly American) Changelings have a raucous gang party, then insist you go down to the basement or get a massive beating.


A sickening smelling thing waits in the basement of Blackstreet Manor, enjoying what seems to be a near-midnight snack (the leg and thigh of a small human). Our heroes are pretty sure its Frankenstein’s monster. It claims that the book (a “pack of lies and odious untruths”) is incomplete, and would bring “catastrophe”. He claims Mrs. Folo had attempted at some earlier point to get the secret of life from him. He also claims to have overcome his fear of fire. He extracts a promise to never read the book to him and demands they send one of the Blackstreeters from upstairs to “have words with”.


Our heroes head to Portobello Road Market. After a bit of wrangling, Mr. In Formation announces Ms. Folo does indeed have the book (and the man with white hair is an “ambassador”). He tells them Folo is in the basement of The Eccentric Club.


Ms. Folo is found in the basement "building" a family for herself. After a brief fight with hobbled together creatures named “Jerry”, “Jimmy”, and “Billy”, Nellie manages to retrieve the King of Summer. He reveals that the "kids" are actually fetches, and calls upon the Winter Court to come and cover it all up. They drag Folo away.


Wes Price happily signs over the checks in return for Frankenstine, after Oliver warns him harshly not to ever read it. Wes then buys a round of drinks for everyone at the Eccentric Club bar. David Picket-Frost watches this all looking very upset. He’ll probably not stay looking that way for long.

The World-Famous London Daily Mirror[]

For other articles see- London Daily Mirror

Gala Gunshots Galore![]

A man at a posh Christie’s auction was taken in by City of London police last night after he fired of several rounds from an illegal handgun. Claiming he saw “a Nazi” and “a savage child” preparing to attack him, the still unidentified man fired several rounds into thin air before being tackled by a duo of local security guards. The borderline unstable man had to be restrained until local police arrived, led by Eugene “Gene Geanie” Hunt of the City of London police. Our tipsters hinted that the infamous DCI Hunt may need his high-priced CoL solicitor to get ready to work long hours, as Hunt reportedly beat the man savagely after he scuffed his equally infamous crocodile cowboy boots.


Questions... Questions that Need Some Form Of Written Response (Notarized by Mr. Burberry if Possible)[]

For other questions see- The Master Question List

  • What exactly was Mrs. Folo working on down there? It was … unsettling.
  • Is Wes Price the richest Changeling in town? What of his mysterious boss Sir Russell Horth?
  • Why is The Creature seemingly living in the basement of an imperial territory? What deal did it make with the Empire to be left alone? Does that deal extend to the freehold that lives above him?
  • Why is Prince Edward following Princess Maggie? Who hired him to do it?
  • What other books are Illuminated Texts? What of the Harry Potter references?
  • The white haired man is an “ambassador’? From where?

The Books
The Book of Spring: Chapter One: Black Masks and Coronation Cake • Chapter Two: The Illuminated Texts • Chapter Three: The Good Fight • Chapter Four: A Little Drop of Poison • Chapter Five: Games of Fortune • Chapter Six: For Everything
The Book of Summer: Chapter Seven: War Aeterna • Chapter Eight: War Plan Red • Chapter Nine: Trust No One • Chapter Ten: Best Laid Plans • Chapter Eleven: The Quest • Chapter Twelve: The Saber Arch • Chapter Thirteen: The Diary of Prince Martin • Chapter Fourteen: Sacrifices • Chapter Fifteen: There Is A Season
The Meeting
The Book of Autumn: Chapter Sixteen: Black Holes and Revelations • Chapter Seventeen: The Last Magic Mirror • Chapter Eighteen: The Final Terrible Fate of Elizabeth Chandler • Chapter Nineteen: Treason, Sedition, Heresy • Chapter Twenty: Iron Sacrifice of Body, Will and Soul • Chapter Twenty-One: Time For Every Purpose
The Book of Winter: Chapter Twenty-Two: Pax Hiems • Chapter Twenty-Three: The Diary of Mrs. Thistle Sept-Dec 1888 • Chapter Twenty-Four: Choices